A funny thing happened…

I stumbled upon this and had to read the entire thread. I’ve posted my two favorite responses below. The first I agree with so I didn’t respond. But the second, I felt, required a response.

Reminds me of that old letter someone wrote to Dr Laura years ago. It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever read in my life so I’m going to post it here for you all:

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s law. I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

To read the thread click here.

This is my second favorite response. Mostly because it gets ridiculous at the end.

It’s not complicated people.

The moral code comes from the Old Testament Law – there were principles, and there were punishments and there was sacrifice.
Jesus fulfills the OT Law, meaning he bears the punishment on the cross and is the sacrifice again on the cross, so no more OT Punishments, or Sacrifices. Jesus covered those.

But the moral code still applies ( see Matt 5:18 )
So – lying about your sexual past to your husband is still morally wrong, but the bit about being stoned / paying silver, no longer applies.

I was totally with it for the part above this. I was drinking the Kool-Aid and I liked it. Alright? Then it all went to hell in a hand basket.

So incest for example is still a sin, a practice however if looked at objectively on the same basis that homosexuality is today by secular law – ought to be legal.

As a matter of fact I believe sex between two consenting adults should be legal in all circumstances unless you can prove to me that it in some way harms the people around them. Public sex is therefore wrong because it has a negative effect on children. Incest, however, while being gross is not something the government should be allowed to regulate. People who take part in such acts are certainly subject to social ridicule but not the the state.

The same argument extends to bestiality. ( a horse hardly consents to being ridden or a cow to being eaten )

The definition of bestiality says nothing about using animals for the sustaining of life or for transport. It addresses a sexual relationship between a human being and a lesser animal. This is illegal because the cow cannot give consent.

Pedophilia is a natural occurring mis-function of sexual desire like homosexuality – Pedophilia while hated today was institutionally acceptable practice in Ancient Greece.

“Mis-function of sexual desire”… okay. Moment over. Pedophilia is against the law because it violates the rights of the child involved, ditto rape. Once you actively choose to violate the rights and well-being of another individual you forfeit your right to your well being. Sucks to be you.

Jesus doesn’t want homosexuals stoned, ( Moses’ Law was of it’s times ie tailored to the needs of a nomadic people – see Matthew 19:8 ) but Jesus would still call Homosexuality a sin ie a “transgression of the Law”

You know what? The Bible does consider homosexuality an abomination. It has every right to do so. People who follow it’s teaching have every right to believe it. But our Constitution clearly states there shall be a separation between The Church and The State. Therefore, any legislation against homosexuals, their lifestyle, their ability to marry or their ability to raise/adopt children is AGAINST THE LAW. Sorry bitches.

~~ I originally posted this on Facebook and, guess what, a thread followed. Here IT is. I post it so you know that people have already challenged my stance and so that mine is, hopefully, made a little more clear. I have omitted one line of text as it referenced an even that has since passed. Other than that, everything anyone said is here.~

~Emily~

It is my belief that one must either take everything in the Bible literally or interpret it all to conform to a contemporary context. Doing otherwise makes you a hypocrite.

Personally, for anyone who’s wondering, I believe the gospels were the perfect message for the people of their time. The gospels were written specifically in response to … Read Moreevents occurring in the early part of the Common Era. Suggesting that these texts can be literally interpreted in the current day and age would be laughable if it weren’t so offensive.
October 1 at 1:12pm · Delete

~Adam~

Ccall me simple but I do a good old bull sacrafice every now and then and I could care less about what the neighbors think. I don’t eat shell fish and I go out on friday nights and bash the heads in of homosexuals. I blame the libral media for showing this in a negative light and they must be punished. SO next thursday i’m going up to … Read Morethe abc, nbc cbs buildings and blowing them up with all the dynamite I bought off of craigs list. Any one wanting to help meet me in the parking lot of Ihop and we will have a quick breakfast then head over to the libral media’s buildings and get the deeds done.

~Emily~
Bull sacrifices are tricky. There’s alot of blood in them buggers.

~Adam~
But no on a serious note you could possibly say the same about Buddhist teachings, the Koran and Hindu teaching. I believe you… Read More’re looking at the bible as more of a Christian book of ignorance than as a Hebrew book of philosophy. Remember all the writers of the bible are Jews and even the ancient Greeks had respect for their philosophy. After all the book of job is considered to be one of the greatest works in literary history. So don’t read it and think of churches read it and think of enlightenment and a means to gain in general knowledge.

~Emily~
I totally understand your point. And I’d say the same of the Qur’an, the Old Testament or the Vedas. There are parts of faith texts that are truly inspiring. But taking any of them completely seriously is a ridiculous idea given the world we live in.

~Lynette~
You have to remember when the Bible was written and who it was written by. Written by men who claim to have heard it all from God himself in a time when people supposedly lived 900 years. Times have changed and those men interpreted what they were told onto thousands of pages called the Bible.

~Emily~
Okay. I’m a religious studies minor. I know who wrote the Bible, when they wrote it and what historical events certain parts were written in response to. I can even tell you what order they were written in, when they were edited and why. My problem is not with the Bible.

In it’s day the Bible was an inspiring text. It was exactly what the people … Read Moreof that time needed. Early Christians risked prosecution and death in order to follow what they believed to be the path to salvation. The authors believed they were writing God’s word and for all I know, they were right. When Constantine gathered the Council of Nicea things drastically changed. These men, and these men alone, took it upon themselves to pick and choose which books were worthy. They distorted Jesus original teachings to fit they’re own purpose.

THAT’S what I have a problem with. If a person takes the Bible to be the absolute Word of God then they must make a choice. Either, the Bible is a text that can be interpreted through the lens of contemporary human culture or it can be adhered to strictly as an absolute and unwavering law. … Read More

Corinthians says that if I am raped, my attacker may pay my father and all will be forgiven. Is this a policy we should adopt in this day and age? No. Would any politician who dared suggest such a thing be ridiculed? Yes.

The Bible AND the Qur’an both say that women are unclean during their periods. In ancient times menstruating women were sent to live in a small house on the edge of town and forbidden from speaking to men. Again. Should this be made a law too? And if so, what am I to do during the winter? Must I walk to the edge of the town or may I drive there? If I do drive have I contaminated my car? May a man then ride in it ever again?

My problem is not with the text. It is with hateful bigots who manipulate it to say only what they want it to say and ignore the parts they find inconvenient.

In addressing the specific issue presented in the image I have to say the following:

There is NO SECULAR REASON why gay marriage should be against the law. Literally none. And I challenge anyone who disagrees with me to, please, present their argument.

~Traci~
I even as a Christian dont think Gay marraige should be against the Law of the Government. I dont think Churches should have to Marry people of the same sexual orientation. I am not against gay’s but at the same time I dont agree with it. No I would be much happier if my children didnt decide to be gay but I would love them just the same. I think … Read MoreGod loves them just the same. As it says in Romans do not judge least you be judged. There for I dont feel I have the right to judge people based on what they feel. Im sure ill probably get ridiculed by someone for saying this but I guess Ive at least made my point
God Bless

~Lynette~
Those are the key words…..In it’s day (second paragraph).
And my comment on here was..I do have a problem with the Bible.

~Emily~
Lynette- my bad. that’s not what I read.
Traci- Don’t worry. We don’t ridicule opinions. Just mullets and skinny jeans.

~Doug~
What it all comes down to is that the Bible is just a book. Many people love it, but, just because it’s loved so much doesn’t mean ways of life should be set by it, or you’ll parish. I like the Harry Potter books, but, I’m not going to become a wizard or start wearing shirts that say “What Would Harry Do?” or tell people there’s a nice place in … Read MoreAzkaban for them if they don’t live their lives to the way the Weasleys see fit.
Not knocking the Bible or God or anything, it’s just… it’s a book. L. Ron Hubard wrote a “bible”, too, and look how crazy goofy that fucking thing is.

~Traci~
On another note. OT vs NT is a big difference. In the old testament there was sacrificing of rams and bulls and goats. That was the whole idea of the reason Jesus came. He took attonement for our sins, and as a result guess what no more animal sacrifices!!! There are a few verses that are key to life in the bible….so you dont go to “Azkaban” hell.
John 3:16 im sure most of you know that one
Acts 16:31 Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved
John 20:31 These are writen that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ the son of GOD
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God… Read More
John 14:6 I am the way and the truth and the life no one comes to the father except through me
and finally my personal favorite.
Ephesians 2:8 For it is by Grace you have been saved by faith. Its is not by works but it is a GIFT of GOD!!!!

Sorry about the little bible lesson. I teach at my church. LOL

~Traci~
O i also must give this other insight to my crazy christian life.
READ these books

Case for Christ
Case for Faith… Read More
Case for Creator
they are writen from an athiest point. Lee stroble who used to be a investigative Journalist for the Chicago Tribune

~Kathy~
AJ Jacobs wrote a book about his experience of trying to live a year according to all of the rules presented in the bible. Crazy, crazy stuff, and I can’t wait to read the book.
Book Link

Jeff Adams
Case for Christ is a great book. I use it all the time to keep my piano level.

Also, please check your verses. John 3:16 does not say “im sure most of you know that one.” Although, I am reading it on Wikipedia, so I probably shouldn’t believe what I read there, even though I trust it is true and correct.

~Emily~

Ephesians 2:8 For it is by Grace you have been saved by faith. Its is not by works but it is a GIFT of GOD!!!!

I cannot properly express in words how offensive I find it, that ANY god offers salvation by grace alone. Timothy McVeigh converted right before his execution and I’m supposed to believe he got into heaven? Eff that. He killed hundreds of men, women and children but he gets to sit on white puffy clouds for eternity? That’s jacked up. I’m sorry. But he needs to pay for his actions in the afterlife. The idea of salvation through grace suggests that we can live our lives in whatever manner we see fit and as long as we love Jesus when we die all sins are forgiven.

I’m personally offended by this on many levels. Firstly, I live a more “Christian” life than most Christians I know. I don’t murder, adulter, bear false witness or covet my neighbors’ anything. Jeffrey Dahmer was re-baptized into the Church of Christ just before he was killed. Does he get into heaven? I cannot and will not idolize ANY god that lets such wretched be saved. I’m sorry. No…. Read More

In fact MANY serial killers come from religious backgrounds. Some even claim they are doing what God asked them to do or that they were really expelling evil spirits. So what’s the difference between these men hearing God and Mark hearing God? The message. Mark’s message made people feel warm and fuzzy. Dahmer, not so much. So we assume he’s crazy.

And here we wrap back to my original issue. There is historical evidence that the Prophet Muhammad of Islam suffered from epilepsy. The idea got little media play because it wasn’t of significance to a “Christian America.” What if the same were said of Luke, Matthew, Paul, John, Mark, Jesus himself? What if someone found evidence that Jesus had an illness that went undiagnosed at the time? I can tell you what. It would be ignored by Christian society because it was inconvenient. Because, it didn’t fit into the little bubble in which the Christian faith dwells. I’m not trying to suggest that all Christians are crazy folk. But, ever since Constantine declared Christianity the official religion, at the insistence of his mother and sisters by the way, Christianity has be able to ignore everything that was inconvenient. And THAT I have a very real problem with.

~Kathy~
OK, I just want to say that I’m simultaneously impressed and distracted by the rare use of the verb “adulter”.

~Emily~
I’m just here to throw you off guard.

Vote for me!

Hey all. A friend of mine from high school designed this shirt and he needs votes. I figured I’d pass it along just in case. Thanks!

Sometimes…

When I’m feeling all sad and crappy I invent roles for myself in my favorite stories and act them out in my head, occassionally talking to myself. Does this make me crazy?

The Cookie Jar Effect.

So… as per my last blog I’m recently realizing that I don’t necessarily require the traditional relationship that most people do. I’d be perfectly content never to get married as long as my partner and I are married. I don’t think I nned a member of the clergy, not that I’d find one willing to marry me, or a government official to dictate when my heart truly belongs to another human being.

Along a parallel track of thought I’ve begun to contemplate what ‘monogamy’ really means and if it’s all it’s cracked up to be. The short answer is ‘yes’. Monogamy has a great many positive attributes: you know your partner is clean, you know eachother’s likes and dislikes, you build a lasting relationship that is physical as well as emotional and romantic. Or, at least, ideally you do.

But when I study many of the relationships around me I see that not all of them can live and breathe on monogamy alone. I think there is a feeling in many people that just thinking about another person is in some way cheating. But is it really? And if it isn’t, are there different levels of cheating? Well, there must be. Different people react to different situations in… wait for it… different ways. Without pretending to have a psych degree or the ability to read minds, I have no way of suggesting what other people necessarily think on the subject. I could make a poll of sorts and ask, but who really wants to answer that question in a public forum? Other than, Ms. No Personal Filter, me. Here’s my take on it. I’ll try to simplify the inner workings of my crazy by using an example.

You have a child who wants a cookie. But it’s less than an hour until dinner. You tell the child no. But, telling the child, “No” doesn’t take the want away. The child just waits until you leave the room and eats a cookie anyway.

If in many relationships looking at others is frowned upon, it doesn’t take the desire out of us. Pretty people happen and we are biologically wired to find the best breeding stock. It’s pretty simple. So, telling a partner they can’t appreciate, interact with, talk to, hang out with, have sex with… wherever you draw the line, doesn’t seem, to me at least, to be the best plan.

Rather, I think it is more beneficial to cultivate a relationship that is sexually monogamous but doesn’t hinge on that. At the very least, a relationship that doesn’t view ‘looking’ as some sort of horrible sin. My grandmother used to say, “When you stop looking, you’re dead.” My grandmother had a very successful marriage and all four of her children have successful marriages as well. (Can you imagine if I ever got divorced? Yikes!) I don’t pretend to know what the exact marital status of all of these couples is and honestly, I don’t wanna. But Grandma’s theory was sound.

So without further ado, my conclusion. (Mostly because I’m falling asleep here!): It must be possible to cultivate a relationship that doesn’t make a partner feel bad for looking for pretty outside of the relationship. If this atmosphere can be created and an open dialogue can be maintained, there should be no real reason for cheating or betrayal.

Please, again, understand that I am not an expert. I’m not even currently engaged in a relationship. But, I’m big on the ideal that honesty can get you through most anything. That principal is why my ex is still my best friend. Did it hurt when he ended it? Yes. But there was no bitterness, because there was not period of betrayal. He knew he could come to me and say what he needed to. There was no betrayal and no cheating.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s just something that works in my brain and anyone who reads this will think I’m crazy. Who knows? If you have a strong opinion one way or the other, please let me know.

Ramblings from my brain…

I recently spent the weekend with my exboyfriend. And, I decided a few things about myself and my relationship with him.

1. He makes me happy. That doesn’t mean I’m falling back into bed with him right now, or that I ever will. But the relationship we share is amazing. It just so happens I know he feels the same way. There was much discussion as to how we will need very understanding partners one day. Also, we’ve decided that 11 years from now, if neither of us is in a relationship, we’re gonna get hitched. This is for a few reasons
a. He wants to be president and we don’t elect bachelors.
b. We both want kids and ours would be adorable and
c. He’s already agreed to make me Secretary of Education and Prostitution. (I’m gonna take the union away from the teachers because they abuse the hell out of it, and give it to the prostitutes because they really need one.)

2. Also, I’ve decided that people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. For anyone who hasn’t heard that before, basically anyone cooler than me, let me give you an example.

~My relationship with my ex is checkered. We weren’t always dating, we’ve never been in love, and we try but don’t ever seem to make it work. Now, we have mutual friends who are in a “relationship.” When I saw the male part of this partnership last week he was covered in scratches and had broken his hand “losing a fight with a desk.” When the female part showed up she too was covered in scratches. When I say scratches please understand I don’t mean light pink lines. I mean gaping wounds that had only recently scarred over, obviously caused by either a major automobile/semi collision or the fingernails of a wild animal. It doesn’t take much critical thinking to figure out what happened. But, I clarified just so I knew I wasn’t making a mountain out of a mole hill. I was not. These two people, who share a bed on a semi regular basis, beat the living shit out of eachother. I mean the ever-loving-tar out of eachother. I don’t mean threw something or yelled or even slapped. I mean, all out physical altercation that ended when the male part punched the desk, instead of the woman, and broke his knuckles. His hand was so badly injured his PALM was swollen. At the very least the two outer knuckles and attached fingers were in some way misaligned.

Why do I tell you this story? Because the female part of said “relationship” felt it was necessary to berate my ex in front of a room full of people. It’s truly a testament to the self control my ex has taught me that I didn’t send her nose out the back of her skull. Truly. She’s never liked him but she was downright evil during this conversation. A few samples: “So how tiny is his penis anyway?” “Does he shave down there? Is he hairy? Because I’ve always found him repulsive.” Please understand that these are not exagerations. These are actually the things my “friend” said to me. Luckily (Unfortunately?) I have a habit of ignoring what most people say when they say it. It’s not until later, when I rethink it in my head that I realize the vile nature of the comments some people make. This was one of those instances. I was annoyed while it was happening so I told her it was easily 8 inches and I moved along. But as I thought more about it afterward I really couldn’t believe what the woman had said to me, nor could I believe how she was treating me or my ex. What kind of person says those things? I admit my thoughts aren’t always kind a springtime fresh, but I tend to keep the horrible ones to myself. Why couldn’t this girl extend the same curtousy?

But I digress. I have one more realization then I must go to bed.

3. I actually don’t feel as though I will ever NEED to get married. If I can find contentment and true happiness with a man I don’t care if we marry in the eyes of the country or of god(s). It’s an arbitrary label and I don’t feel as though I need it. If my partner and I can know we love eachother and stay faithful I don’t need to get the title. This doesn’t mean I’ll never get married, and gracious knows I wouldn’t go about having children until my very traditional grandmother joins Grandpa in the big puffy cloud Heaven they believe in. But, titles aren’t important. And neither are the standards and guidelines that come with them. Happiness is happiness, no matter how it’s packaged.

I’m all about the ranting today…

I was at work today and I noticed a set of stickers with Winnie the Pooh characters. But, instead of Christopher Robin there was a girl. (Her name may be Darby or something like that. I’m not sure and won’t investigate.) This suggested to me that the show, in an effort to be more gender neutral (i.e. not so heavily weighted with male characters) had adopted this female character. This raised a conversation between my coworker and I regarding tv shows that have recently changed their structure in an effort to be more politically correct.

The whole thing irked me so it was reflected immediately in my facebook status:

Emily doesn’t give an ass about being politically correct. Cookie Monster eats cookies, Bert and Ernie live together and Christopher Robin is Pooh’s best friend. If you don’t like it move to the PLANET Pluto and make your own damn tv shows!

One of my friends was unaware of the changes made to these shows so in an effort to explain, I ranted:

All of the storylines of those characters have been altered. Cookie Monster no longer eats cookies, he eats veggies. And he doesn’t “binge eat” anymore because he was teaching children to be gluttonous. Bert and Ernie don’t live together anymore because two men who weren’t related to eachother living together scared the homophobes. And … Read Morefinally Christopher Robin has a new female cohort because the show didn’t have enough female characters. I don’t know about you but none of those things even crossed my mind when I watched them as a kid. But alas, we live in a society where political correctness caters to the ignorant. So much so, that we can’t help but raise a generation of children who are programmed to assume they’re under siege by the thought police. So now we have complacent children who assume they will simply be told what to believe and never think outside of the box they are born into or GOD FORBID ever bother developing their own opinions… Rant over.

 

At least it was for facebook. I’ve chosen to continue it here. So…

 

GOD FORBID ever bother developing their own opinions…or critical thinking skills. Can you imagine a world where kids learn to think for themselves? Where they don’t simply eat the crap they are handed by their parents and assume that’s all there is to life?

Now this isn’t a liberal/conservative thing. I’m not talking about political alliances. I’m talking about what should be the basic human skill set. We have developed as a species because once in a while someone does something they were told they shouldn’t do. We eat forbidden fruit, squish peanuts, fly kites in thunderstorms, throw broken pieces of semi sweet chocolate into our cookies when we run out of baker’s chocolate and test random mold growth in out petri dishes. And we do these things because we haven’t lost our sense of wonder. We haven’t stopped wanting to discover. We’re curious and adventurous and this is the way things SHOULD be. This is how great things happen.

We’ve strayed so far into political correctness that we’ve lost sight of what makes us great as a species. We’re creating a world where a generation of boys doesn’t know how to act like men and girls are raised to resent the genetic usefullness of their bodies. What is with this equality of the sexes crap? Last I checked, I don’t have a penis and my boyfriend can’t carry a child. We are this way for a reason. Maybe it’s God, maybe evolution. I don’t know. But I do know that we survive as a species because women procreate and men protect their mates and their offspring. Sorry folks. That’s the way it is. Does this mean women should be treated as lower class citizens? Of course not. And I’m offended you thought it. But we’ve gone so far that boys are taught they aren’t any different from girls and girls are treated they shouldn’t be defined by their vaginas. There has to be a middle ground. Right? There has got to be a way to teach boys to be boys without teaching them it’s okay to get drunk and hit their wives. And there has to be a way to teach girls they don’t have to be submissive without teaching them their uteruses are evil.

Now, here you are, reading my rant, thinking I’ve lost my point. I haven’t. I know exactly where I started and I know exactly where I’m ending. The fact that Bert and Ernie can’t live together doesn’t necessarily seem like it’s connected to the fate of the world. But I believe it is.

I live in a nation that grants it’s citizens the right to vote. We have a right as Americans to educate ourselves to the issues and the candidates. We then have a right to express our views on them with our vote. But, we’ve been conditioned to believe we will be cared for. We’ve been conditioned to believe what we need will be given to us. If we don’t like what the current guy is giving us we vote for a different guy. What we need to do is go out and get what we need. We need to fly kites in the rain and invent chocolate chip cookies.

So, what should be an innocent tv show used simply as a mental outlet for children suddenly becomes a commentary on what we are allowed to believe. Which, effects what we grow up thinking and subsequently what chances we are willing to take and changes we are willing to make. I’m not a person to spend my time obsessing over the imperfections of the present day. I don’t fear the apocalypse in 2012, nor have I run out and bought a mask in fear of swine flu. But, someday I want children and I’d like my kids to know they can take chances and inact actual change. I’d like for them not to simply sit by and take what they are given. I want them to analyze it, contradict it, change it, or choose to let it change them. I don’t want them to simply accept that veggies are good and cookies are bad. I want them to investigate and question. I want them to want to know WHY veggies are better for them than cookies. I want them to consider that Bert and Ernie can’t live together and I want them to know why people believe that. (I also hope they disagree.) Basically, I want them to be able to think for themselves. Naturally I want to help guide them, I want them to know what I believe and I’d like it if they agree. But, I’d like it even more if they disagreed and could give me a rational argument as to why.

Euthanasia and God

            The practice of euthanasia is a controversial one. Many believe it is an immoral act akin to murder or suicide. While the opposite side of the coin holds that euthanasia is one of the basic rights of a human being. Regardless of where you stand on the issue it is impossible to remove religion from the basic morality argument surrounding euthanasia.

            Opponents of euthanasia use arguments drawn from a wide spectrum of what human rights entail. Many arguments can be made opposing the “right to die” ideology. Among them is the belief that all human life must be respected and cherished. Recently there was a case in Italy where a woman who had been in a persistent vegetative state for 17 years had her feeding tubes removed in accordance to the wishes she expressed to her father prior to the car accident that caused her coma in 1992. In response to this public controversy and the ensuing court battle Pope Benedict XVI said, “All human life must be protected, especially that of the weak and suffering.” The Pope’s need to intervene simply emphasizes the obvious religious undertones at the heart of euthanasia rulings. The same argument used by prolife activists demanding abortion is really murder, is used in this case to insinuate that euthanasia is a similar circumstance. The premature termination of a human life is a sin. For many, it is as simple as that.

            In this case the “Pro-Life” crowd has a secondary argument. It is argued that in some cases the right to die is imposed upon people who do not truly want it. They can either be prodded or bullied to do their families bidding. In the case of those who are no longer of sound mind, it is argued that the family can simply impose their want for the process to be over on the patient in question. However, in the “right to die” states of Oregon and Washington there are precautions taken against just these sorts of circumstances. Firstly, the person must request euthanasia twice. The requests must be fifteen days apart and the second must be expressed verbally. Also, the person must be capable of administering the lethal dose themselves. They cannot be assisted by medical staff or family members. The laws are written expressly to keep the right from being abused or imposed upon a patient who does not wish to die.

            The argument for euthanasia is simple. Proponents for the “right to die” believe a person who is either terminally ill or whose mental faculties have outlived the usefulness of their physical bodies has a right to end their own life on their own terms. The common religious belief holds that this decision is selfish and sinful. Committing suicide is viewed as a selfish act. By taking your own life you affect your loved ones in a negative way. Also, according the Bible, suicide is a sin. In the United States suicide is actually an illegal act and anyone who survives the attempt can be punished by law. Still, in many ways this decision could be seen as a spiritual one. The belief in an afterlife, regardless of which religion it is tied to, gives people hope that the life that comes after the one they are currently living will be joyous and pain free. In many ways any sane person would prefer this promised haven to whatever ill-fated, demoralizing life in which they are currently partaking.

            It is my contention that any spiritual decision made in an attempt to reach other-worldly peace should not be shunned by society. We’ve been conditioned to believe that mass suicides of cult members are evil and sinful. But we have no actual proof that the participants did not reach the nirvana they sought. What we have is a belief that there is something better after this life. What we have is a fundamental religious comprehension that there is tranquility and solace to be obtained once this pain ridden life is spent. How then can we, as a responsible and companionate species, prolong the suffering of a fellow human being simply because it challenges our own religion or personal beliefs? As a responsible and religiously free nation, we should not.

Okay. So, Iowa.

On Friday April 3, 2009 the Iowa state Supreme Court legalized same sex marriage. This marks the first time a state from the Midwest has taken any measure to ensure that homosexual couples are afforded the same rights as heterosexual couples. People come down on different sides of the same-sex argument. It seems however that there is no secular reasoning against gay couples having the right to marry. The basis behind the anti-gay marriage movement is purely religion based.

Brian English, of the Iowa Family Policy Center said, “It’s, quite frankly, a disaster.” The Iowa Family Policy Center claims to be simply a nonprofit organization interested in strengthening the family. However, their website has a decidedly Christian face. They often quote scripture, including Matthew 19:4-6 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” This doesn’t seem like an unbiased research organization to me.

The organization is attempting to have an amendment to the Iowa state constitution passed that will officially define marriage as a union between a man and a woman. The website, letusvoteiowa.org states that “This decision isn’t only about “moral issues” – this is a breach of the constitutional separation of powers!” Now, their argument here may well be true. As was the case in California, the decision was made by the judicial branch which is not supposed to have the power to create legislation. However, the website is an obvious call to Christians to ban together against this thing they believe is evil. The website calls for a gathering of “Christians, conservatives, and liberty-minded Iowans” to rally at the Capital building during a vote on this constitutional amendment on April 9, 2009.

The website continues by providing helpful links to other websites including: Resources Available to Help Homosexuals, Public Health Concerns, Impact on Kids and Infidelity, Promiscuity and Insecurity within Homosexual Relationships. The last site claims that “Children raised in families containing one non-biological parent are dozens of times more likely to be abused than children raised by both biological parents.” But the research cited for that work is entitled “The Prevalence and Seriousness of Incestuous Abuse: Stepfathers vs. Biological Fathers.” The site makes no note of how such information could logically be applied to homosexual couples.

Regardless of one’s stance on the gay marriage issue it is my contention that only small-minded or uneducated people could possibly contend that there is a secular reasoning behind a ban on gay marriage. Furthermore it is my belief that the government has no place to legislate what constitutes a valid relationship. Our country was founded on a principal of the separation between church and state. Simply put, our forefathers did not want the country to be governed by the morals of religious devotees alone. If individual churches want to refuse the right of gay couples to wed within their walls they are certainly free to do so. The government, be it federal or local, has no such right.

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That’s my tidbit for the day. Stay tuned for upcoming installments including my views on teaching creationism in public schools and euthanasia. Fun!

Gotta Love Customer Service

This is an old facebook note that I recently rediscovered and wanted to share with the world. Because if you’ve ever worked customer service you know exactly what I’m talking about and if you haven’t but are one of these customers you should try being nicer. It’ll get you alot farther.

Just a bit of a preface during the holiday season of 2006 I was answering customer service phone calls for a gift company. This company seriously screwed up that season. To understand how bad it was you must know three things:

1. As of December we had orders sitting on the packing line from August that had not shipped because corporate decided we wouldn’t ship an order with a personalized item until the item in question had been personalized and could be included. There was one personalization guy and the machine was broken down for probably 10 of the 12 weeks between August and Christmas.

2. Christmas that year was on a Monday. On the final business day before Christmas i.e. that Friday, there were still 7000 orders sitting on the packing line.

3. On at least three separate occasions a glitch in the website caused every order placed that day to double or triple. This means for every one gift you ordered from us, we sent you three and charged you three times. Which for one item isn’t a big problem, inconvenient but not bank busting. We were handling entire Christmas gift lists to the tune of $100-$600 per order. Can you imagine your credit card suddenly having an extra $1200 in charges?

I tell you these things because it’s important that you know that I know that the company was fully at fault. I’m not sure it would have been possible to screw it up more if we’d have handed it to the federal government and asked them to puzzle it out. But there is a difference between the guy in the office making the decisions and the college kid answering the phone.

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This is a note for anyone who has ordered anything for Christmas, is worried because they haven’t received it, and calls the customer service number to get an update on the order.

No.1 Do not lie to me about how long you have been on hold. I have a display that tells me how long it’s been since your phone number called my phone number. If you tell me you’ve been on hold for 45 minutes it will not make me any more sympathetic. It will only serve to annoy me.

No.1 1/2 Do not spend valuable time complaining about how long you have been on hold. Your complaining time means more customers have to wait longer. And that’s just rude.

No.1 3/4 Do not spend 30 minutes on hold for a stupid reason and then expect me to treat it like anything but a stupid reason. Do not call me because you did not receive your free gift. Do not call me, when you received all of your items and none of them were damaged, because you never got a confirmation email. The fact that you got your crap puts you light-years ahead of the other people on hold behind you. Get over it.

No. 2 Do not launch into some long-winded explanation about when you placed your order, how long you’ve been waiting, or how disappointed you are. I am only going to apologize once and most things are beyond my control anyway. Give me your basic information and I’ll see what I can do. Beyond that, just shut up.

No.2 1/2 Do not use big words in your long-winded explanation. Chances are I’m smarter than you and you will eventually make yourself look like a jackass anyway.

No.3 Don’t expect a definate anything, especially the week before Christmas. Do not ask me to guarantee the arrival date. I won’t do it. (See No.4 for explanation as to why.)

No.4 Jesus does not deliver your packages. The USPS does, and the last time I checked they were people, actual and whole, not messiahs. There are at least five post offices between me and you. So, I’m going to need you to pull your head out of your ass and hold your effing horses.

No.5 (And this is the important one.) I know and understand that you are frustrated. If I had done all of my ordering in August and still didn’t have my packages come December I would be upset as well. That being said, DO NOT, let me repeat that, DO NOT, attack me personally because you don’t have your order yet. Do not fight with me, do not yell at me, it will not get you anywhere. DO NOT call me names or attack my character. It IS NOT my fault. I cannot go out into the warehouse, personally remove your items from stock, and drive them to the UPS Store myself. Do not tell me what a rude bitch I am. I will hang up. If I do hang up, do not call back, wait on hold for another 20 minutes and expect me to apologize. If you ask for a manager I will transfer you, but they are more than likely going to side with me, and anything they say will only be said to pacify you (which is fitting because if you really call me back to tell my “mommy” on me then you are, in fact, a child).

No.5 1/2 DO NOT, order something on Friday, refuse to pay for priority shipping, call me back the following Friday and complain because your items have not shipped yet. Do not preface this conversation with, “You better not hang up on me like the other girls did.” It does not bode well for our dealings with one another. Do not place an order online and tell me someone promised you you’d have it in 2-3 days (Especially if you ordered it on Friday. The post office isn’t open all weekend). You ordered it ONLINE, no PERSON promised you anything. Do not lecture me about how I lied to you, how I am making fraudulent claims, or how difficult I am being. DO NOT(!!!) tell me that I am a liar who is “selling her morals” and DO NOT(!!!) say to me, “What you are doing is selling your morals. And that makes you a whore.” I will hang up. I will be well within my rights as a human being to hang up. I will inform my management team, we will cancel your order, and you will be prohibited from ever placing another one. Because I am a human being, and you are an asshole.

Me and My Breakups.

Okay. So here’s the thing. I’m a big girl. I’m an adult. I take responsibility for my actions. Why is it that whenever I’m in a relationship that heads south the women around me feel the need to put that guy down? I broke up with my very best friend over Christmas and ever since then whenever I mention him the women around me, not all but a few, seem to feel it’s necessary to insult him. I get alot of “Why do you waste your time with him?” and some “He’s a moron anyway.” And the whatnot. Here’s the thing, some girls may need that, I don’t. This man was my lover and is my friend and insulting him doesn’t do me any favors. In fact, it’s a bit insulting because I chose him to begin with. What gives?

More recently, I had a thing with an old friend. I’ve known this man for more than 10 years. He’s a great guy and a great friend and we are attracted to eachother. The problem is neither one of us was in the right place for a relationship. I was just off of my Christmas breakup and he’s not very happy with his life right now. We talked about it and were honest with eachother and discussed that neither one of us was ready to give it a solid try. But, we fooled around anyway. Why? ‘Cuz we wanted to. ‘Cuz we were lonely. ‘Cuz it felt damn good. And, guess what. It turns out we were right about ourselves. We care about eachother very much but aren’t capable of doing the relationship thing. Fine. I’m not gonna lie, I was upset for a few days when he pointed it out. But my being upset doesn’t make him wrong. So what’s with the “You’re to good for him.” and “We’ll find you better.”  I don’t currently want “better”. I want him. And let’s be realistic, if I couldn’t make it work with this guy because not wanting to be alone isn’t a valid reason for a relationship, maybe I’m really and truly not ready for one.

And dammit, both of these men are still very important to me. I’m going to make plans to see them; I’m going to hang out with them. I love them and I want them to be happy and if I don’t make them that in the romantic sense, that’s fine. But I’ve no intention of simply cutting them out of my life because my feelings are currently inconvenient. I deal with this by reminding myself why they were my friends in the first place. Not why I don’t get to have sex anymore.

Now for the profound bit. I’m a firm believer that every romantic relationship that fails had a phase that could have saved the friendship. I’m sure if you think about it, you’ll agree. There was a sign or a moment or a thought of “This isn’t right anymore.” We all push past this moment. It’s insecurity; It’s fear of commitment. But it isn’t always. Sometimes, it’s the universe trying to tell you something. So, if you listen to that moment you can save yourself an awful lot of headache, pain and loss later. Earlier in my blog I mentioned “Blondie” and Josh and how they don’t speak anymore. They had a good friendship that pushed past the friend level. I believe there was a period of time where, if one of them had backed the hell off, they could have remained friends. But, the moment was ignored and they lost what they enjoyed before they got complicated. Now, in this case it may be for the best. But there was a moment. There was a space in time where they could have stopped what they were doing and saved what they were. It’s not easy. Of course it isn’t. Because we all want to feel loved and cherished. We all want to feel beautiful and wanted. So, it’s hard to give that up. But if you don’t have the strength to recognize when you’ve reached your breaking point, pushing past it only makes the eventual end that much worse.

I believe things happen for a reason, even if we don’t always understand what that reason is while it’s happening. So, I may not yet understand why the romantic events of the last few months have unfolded this way for me. But some day I will. And I take solace in that.

*Side note.* It came to my attention via Facebook today that a girl I used to know is pregnant. While I wish her the best. I was struck, as I sometimes am, at how much I resent women who have children before they get married. I don’t have a problem with unwed mothers. Not in the old fashioned sense of the thought. But, I really want kids. More than pretty much anything, I want a family one day. So when I live my life the “right” way and spend alot of my time hating it, being bored by it and longing for something better it irks me that other women can do things the “wrong” way and have what I want most. Now you know.